what to do.....

Here are two images. One of which I need to alter for my abstract design. I just can't decide which one to cut up and make a new design out of. Can anyone out there tell me which one I should keep as is?

Golden flower

Here is one of my most recent images for class. It's a flower done in colored pencils on black paper. What do you think?

This is a symetrical design. This one is done with ink, not cut. Again though, it was for Basic design.

Another Basic Design project. This is an image of the kids, again cut in construction paper and glued onto Bristol board. Amazing isn't it? I didn't know I could do something like that with just plain old construction paper and a utility knife!

Praying hands

This was a Basic Design project. We were supposed to show contrast. It was done with cut construction paper, glued onto Bristol board paper. I got an A on this assignment.
I thought of the design when I was battling with the possibility of having breast cancer.

This is a project I did for my Basic Design class. We were supposed to show our understanding of Alternating Rhythm. I haven' t received it back yet from the professor, so I'll let you know later what grade I got on it.
*image made in Illustrator*

I'm sorry I haven't posted for so long. I've been busy with school and trying to keep my head above water. I miss doing the crafty stuff I had been doing, but I can do that stuff later after I finish school. I'll be posting more images here in the next day or two, all of which are school related.

God is good, all the time!

First of all I want to say GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!


I know you guys have heard nothing but this thing with my scare and I'm greatful for you putting up with it. I have great news and this is the fastest easiest way to share it will all of you!

I called the doc's office day and asked for the results, they are benign!! They still want me to come in tuesday and talk with the doctor about what we will need to do next. They might want to go ahead and take them out, just to be sure, or the minimum would be to do another mammogram in 3-6 months to make sure nothing new pops up.


Thank you all for your concern, well wishes, and prayers. I know that made all the difference and I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who love me and care for me.

I'm not a good writer, but there are so many things I want/need to say. So much going on not only in my life, but in this world. Obviously some of this feeling and emotions sparks from two events, one that happened 5 years ago today, and the other the current fear I have. I want to speak about 9-11 first.


I remember that day clearly, as most people do about big events that are shocking and do so much destruction. That day I was just messing about the house, I think making breakfast. Eric called me from work and told me I needed to turn on the tv. I went to the bedroom with emmy, just a small child then, and saw the smoking first tower. They didn't know what happen....confusion on the pilots part, mechanical malfunction? They were in the middle of discussing it when suddenly the camera panned in on another plane just before IT crashed into the second tower! I jumped up and started crying. I was glued to that tv, I couldn't walk away. Part of me wanted to run to the school and get Blake, but would he be any safer at home than he was there? Still lots of confusion, but much clearer about what was going on that day. We began watching the clip of the plane going into the tower over and over and over again. The other video played again was the moment President Bush was told about the events. He was reading a book to small children. Think about that, and how hard that would be to remain calm infront of those kids.


Everything is still very emotional for so many, still a tender scar. I think it is one of those that will heal, but you will always feel the wound, no matter how long it's been.


The second thing is of course this thing with my nodules they found. I don't know what to think of it. I know that freating about it will do nothing, and there is no logical reason to sit and freak out, but that's alot easier for some than for others. I wanted people to know about this so they could pray for me. I believe in prayer.


In a way I was reprimanded by my mother in law for "sharing such a private issue." I love her, but in a way that really made me mad. The more people who know, the more that can pray for me. Who is she to say that it's not a big deal and should be kept private?? I'm scared. I need comfort, not criticism......


I go tomorrow for the consult with the surgeon. Eric has taken the day off so he can go with me and for that I am so grateful. I think I will really need/want him by my side. Hopefully they will say, its benign and innocent, but there is always the other option and for that I'm hopeful I don't hear. Either way, I SHOULD know tomorrow when I leave there what is going on, and where we will go from there.


Back to 9-11, God bless those who survived and those who lost loved ones. May we NEVER forget the events and may we always cherish our freedom and those who fight for it.

Looking inward.....

I have heard people tell me what a strong christian I am. But sometimes I wonder.... am I truely? Do I have the faith I need to have? Am I a good person deep down inside?




For those who already know this about me, bear with me for a moment. For the others, I sing in my church choir. I love it. It fills me. It makes me full of spirit to sing and I feel close to God when I do. *I am going somewhere with this, so hang on*




This last sunday our choir sang a song at all three services. With what I'm going through emotionally, this song REALLY spoke to me, and it's making me wonder how strong I really am. It's a powerful song, here are the words....




Name: Lord Have Mercy, intro piano and flute.


1. Jesus, I've fogotten the words that You have spoken


Promises that burned within my heart have now grown dim.


With a doubting heart I follow the paths of earthly wisdom.


Forgive me for my unbelief; renew the fire again.




Chorus:

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy


Lord have mercy on me.


Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy.


Lord have mercy on me.




2. I have built an alter where I worship things of man.

I have taken journeys that have drawn me far from You.


Now I am returning to Your mercies everflowing.


Pardon my transgressions; help me love You again.



chorus



3. I have longed to know You and Your tender mercies


like a river of forgiveness everflowing without end.


I bow my heart before You in the goodness of Your presence,


Your grace forever shining like a beacon in the night.?




Chorus 2x

School is in full swing

School started last week and is now in full swing. I have homework to do and it will take some time. I'll start by talking about my first class and move throughout the day for you.


First class is Basic Design. In that class we are learning about spacing, line of direction, proximity, similarity... Stuff I would hope by now I already know about, but it is a freshman level class that I have waited to take. Our first project is three designs that show our understanding of the above things. I'll try to show you those when I get them done.


Next is Spanish 101. First day was terrifying, but since it has become easier. Well not easier, but I am calmer than the first day of class. That was another story I might repeat later for you, but not now. I'm guessing we will have a chapter test in the next couple of weeks. *gulp*


Next is Oral communications. Speech class basically. We have a speech coming up that is supposed to be an informative speech. It has to be between 5-7 minutes in length. I think I will talk about Autism and the various aspects of it *ie Aspergers syndrome*


Last but not least is Typography. It is an interesting class. Right now we are taking a fake restaurant name and creating a logo for that restaurant based on what kind of product they serve and what nationality it is based around. I'll show that to you later too! It's so exciting!!

All shiney!

All shiney and clean. Since Eric got a new car Sunday, I went out Monday night and washed and vaccumed out the Elantra and made it look nice. I used the ol Armoral and cleaned the dash and interior. It looks so nice when the kids crap isn't in there and trash all over the back seat.


Eric's car is a Pontiac grand prix. It's nice, but also red. I don't really care for the color red in a car, so I'm fine with keeping the Elantra as "mine". Hehe. I'll post a picture of his new/used car for my next post tomorrow.

Nine year anniversary

So about this time of day, nine years ago, I was sitting nervously with my mother, sister, grandmother, and a hairdresser. Looking in the mirror, I could hardly wait to be looking down the aisle at my one true love. I can't believe it's been that long. We have had a healthy wonderful relationship so far. I'm not going to say that it's been perfect, I don't think anyone can truely say that, but it's been everything I wanted and more. I have been lucky and blessed to have him in my life, and I thank God for telling me no on a prayer I made about 12 years ago. It was the best answer he has every given me *besides the yes with Eric that is*.




Eric has been my knight in shining armor. One who has made me laugh when I was sad, loved me when I felt unlovable, held me when I hurt, and listened to my deepest darkest secrets and I could trust them safe with him. He is my very best friend, truely. I would NEVER ask for anything else in life than to have someone to love and someone who returns that love. Nothing else matters than that. Money is nice but not necessary. Family is the important thing, and if you can focus on that an not things, then you are going to have a great content life.

Woops

Seems I have too many places that I post, and end up forgetting to update one or the other. I've been doing alot of my posts on my yahoo 360 page, and kind of forgot about this one.


School is finally over with, and I am sad to say that I only got a C for the class with 78%. I was so hoping for a B, but I did the best I could do and that will have to be good enough. It certainly wasn't low enough that I would bother to take it again. I'm glad I took it, but would never want to take it again!


Things are going well here. The kids play together and are having a decent summer. Eric is doing well, but still hating his job! Poor guy, I wish there was more I could do for him. I have recently been battling pneumonia. Boy was that fun to have full blown pneumonia while trying to take my finals for Physical Science!! That was terrible, but I got through it.


My step dad Jim is doing ok. He has his ups and downs, which is to be expected I would imagine when going through first Chemo, the radiation, then Chemo again. He's a tough cookie and is hanging in there, i'm proud of him! Way to go Jim!! Speaking on that note, I felt lead to cut my long hair off after I found out Jim had cancer and wanted to donate it to "Locks of Love." This last Thursday I did just that. I will post a picture later as the program seems to be having trouble uploading images right now. I'll try to remember to try it later today.

Well that's all for now, I'll try to remember to keep this one up to date as well as the other. It's not like anyone reads it anyway right? *sigh*

The cat

I thought I would update everyone on the cat that was shot after several requests were made. Moshe is doing good and is still recovering fine. He is still in a cage to limit his mobility but he is still limping a lot. I don't think he will ever be the same as he used to be.


On that note we probably won't let him out until we can afford to take him back and see what the doc thinks and have him declawed at the same time. I have told Eric that he is not coming out until he is taken care of. He likes to claw everything and seems to have a real problem with it. Anyway, just thought I would let everyone know that he SEEMS to be doing ok at this point.

Summer school's getting old

Ok, I'm ready for this summer class to be over with. I'm enjoying learning but the fast pace and amount of information is a bit much for me to handle. I have about two weeks left and right now am studying for exam #5!!



Eric has been gone all week and, previously, I would have trouble sleeping at night and just miss him terribly. I'm not saying that i didn't miss him, but it was much easier to get through the week than it has been in the past. maybe I'm just maturing *shrugs*. I'm glad to say he will be home tonight and I will be eager to give him a big hug!



I have also decided that I am tired of my church. It has gotten so big that no one has even missed the fact that i have not been there in three weeks. I miss the small personal church that it used to be. The pastor is almost totally unaccessable. I'm not sure what exactly I would like to see change, but I don't think it will ever be what I used to love about it. I don't know if this means I will soon look for a new church, or if I will pray more and try to stick through this hard time. Only time will tell.....

First test

My first test in Physical science went alot better than I thought it would. I ended up getting a total grade of 90%. I'm getting ready to take another test, probably tomorrow on unit 2. Not as confident with that test as the one I took last week. I will have to stick my nose back into the books for this one.


Eric has some surgery on his nose yesterday and it was a little more intense than either of us had imagined or planned for. He seems to be doing much better today and for that I am grateful. Neither he nor I got alot of quality sleep last night, so here's to hoping we both get better sleep tonight.


Other news from here is on my step dad. He was told at his last doctor appointment that she thinks he has about three years to live. What news.......I can't even imagine being told I have a set amount of time left to live, and KNOW it. I am asking for prayers for both him and my mother. She has already been through enough and I think this will be one of the hardest yet she will deal with. Please pray for them both for encouragement and support. Thank you.

And what was I worried about....

Blake did fine on his camping trip. I don't know what I was so worried about. There were a few times he said he had some "incidents" but for the most part he had a good time and is already talking about "next year..."
I'm glad he had fun, and that it was worth it for him to go. Now for what I wasn't worried about and needed to be.... school. I started my summer class last monday. *groan* I'm not doing so hot so far and am really starting to wonder if I should drop the course. It's alot of math, conversions etc that frankly, I don't know. Poor Eric has tried to help me, but I still just don't "get it". How frustrating. I didn't think I would have to worry about converting km to miles anymore. Man, i'm not sure this was a good idea, but for now, i'm going to do my best and stick my nose deep into this book!!

My son's first church camp

I sent my son off to church camp yesterday. I was a little worried about how he would do. He has autism and I know it is very chaotic there and not alot of heads up on what they do for the day. I got a call from the camp last night asking questions about him. I'm worried that by tonight I will get a call from them telling me I need to come get him. I just want him to have fun and to learn more about the Lord. I was hoping he was old enough to be able to handle this week, but maybe it's just not a good idea for someone with his condition. I know that if he does ok, and stays the week, I will try to do more next year to get him a "buddy" that will go with him everywhere (basically like a para). I know as kids get older it's harder for the parents to let go and let them do their own thing and live their own lives, but when it's a child with a disorder or disability, I think it's alot harder. I worry if they are giving him his meds, I worry how he's handling all the noise and singing. I worry that he will get scared at night and no one will be there to comfort him. The only thing that gives me peace is the fact that there are several adults and youth there helping that he knows and that know him. Several of them told me they would watch out for him. That made me feel a little better. I have found myself doing little short prayers for him since dropping him off yesterday. Is it bad that I'm thinking about him so much? Am I a worry wart, or is this normal......*sigh*

Someone shot my cat

Can you believe it, someone so cruel as to shoot someone's pet. He's alive, and for now ok. His leg was broken in three places from a 22 caliber. I was almost sick at hearing the news from the vet. We live in a nice little community and I would have never guess that someone could be so cruel and heartless. Our hope is that he heals ok on his own, and we will be able to let him stay inside. If him and our other inside cat don't get along, we will have to put him up for adoption and find a new home for him. He is such a wonderful cat, it just makes me sick.
*sob*

Just another day

Just another day gone by, glad the weekend came.... wish it was longer, even though it's a holiday. Eric and the kids went to the lake this weekend and I spent a quiet time here alone. It was almost too quiet for me though. I'm used to sounds of kids, and other people around me. It was strange being in the house alone for so long. I didn't like it. Now I know what people mean when they talk about the empty nest syndrome. I got a short taste of what that must be like. LOL it didn't take long however after they came home for that feeling to vanish though. I was quickly reminded how LOUD my kids can be and hearing the constant bickering they do. *ugh!!* I'm really lucky that my husband is so great ya know? He does things for me that I don't even think about at the time, but later realize, he didn't have to. He told me that he got me a laptop computer. It's something i've wanted for a long time, but I knew we couldn't afford. We even got into a tiff over me wanting it, and some other things that were said, mostly hurtful things which I know now to be untrue and I feel terrible for even thinking them. *no, it's not THAT bad, but I do wish I hadn't thought that way. I Love him for being who he is. I love him more today than the day we got married. He forgives me, and I cherrish him! I love you baby!

Yeah! Semester's done

For the next two weeks I am free from school, it's finally over this semester. I finished it with two A's and getting ready for the summer class i'm going to be taking over the internet. Then, the plans are to go full time for the fall. Maybe that way I can try to get a scholarship from the art deptarment. :) Not much new going on other than that.

Wooot, I got an A in drawing

Well the title says it all, but I'll say it again! She gave me an A for my drawing class and I couldn't be more thrilled!! Now all I need to do is finish up my Graphic arts class! *whew*

Wow so much going on, where do I start...
School is almost over for this semester. Tomorrow *Monday* I should know my grade in my drawing class. Wednesday my final for my graphics class is due, and i should know about it fairly quickly too. I'm hoping for an A in both classes, so we'll see!

My step dad is doing ok, but they've had to put off the chemo twice in a row because of his low white cell count. They are thinking this next time he'll be ok to have the chemo again, and are going to give him some other meds to help keep that count up.

My dad's been in the hospital with a little scare, but he's home now and doing ok he says. So i'm not supposed to be worring about him, but you know how that goes, i still worry some.

I've enrolled for summer classes. Those start in June and run through the end of July. Its one class, but it's a harder one, a five hour credit class, Physical Science. *groan*

In the fall i'm taking on a full load. Classes i'm taking then are....Basic design, Typography, Spanish 1, and oral communications. *holds breath*

Wish me luck!!!!

Mickey and friends

Mickey and friends..... another study for my drawing class.....

Sketch of hubby

This is a sketch i've done of my husband. I think it is one of the best I have done so far! I can't believe how much I have learned over the last few months!

Final look

This is the final look of the design on the wall. Remember, this was all done with electrical tape! It was an amazing task and I'm looking forward to doing more stuff like this in the future.

Mural in process

Design mural

This is a design I did for my drawing class. After we all submitted our work, we chose 5 out of 20 and did a mural on the wall with tape. It was a neat project and difficult! Mine was one of the 5 submitted. I'll post a series of pictures of us working on it.

*smiles*

KC job a no go

For those of you that knew about this, Eric didn't get that job in KC he was wanting. Turns out the guy he was to replace decided that he didn't want to leave after all and is going to stay. So, back to the drawing board for him and the chore of sending out resumes begins again. *sigh*

Collage for Photoshop class

I spent a really long time just struggling over an idea for this assignment. Finally I decided the theme and started to put it together. This is what I finally did, with the help of some close family and friends of course! Thanks guys, you know who you are *wink*

Snake

Eric bought me a book for drawing by VShane, he's a fantasy artist. Anyway, one of the drawings he shows you how to do is a snake. I thought I would give it a try! Not too bad, but still needs work don't you think?

"Shades of Love" by Alfred Gockel

Same thing, mines the larger image...

Pomelos Roses

This is another one that I just loved, so had to try. The smaller darker on is the original. I still have a long way to go......

Yellow Tabebuia Tree

Here are some more of the sketches from class. Mine is the larger image. Enjoy!

homework

This is one of my "homework" assignments. Each week we have to pick a piece of art that we like and do a study on it. This one is called "Looking back" by Gakonga. I thought it was a great image and so wanted to do it. This is my drawing. The image on the left is the original, the one on the right is my study of it.

First of many

As promised, the first of many sketches i will load here....the ones we do in class i cannot show you yet, so this stuff will just be the practice and homework stuff. You can see the other when the semester is over.

Photoshop Collage

This is a little something I played with for school. It's amazing the things you can do with Photoshop! I love this stuff! I can't wait to learn more and experiment with things. I've already edited alot of images that I didn't know I could make better.... hehe... Just thought I would share this one with you.

Class sketchings

Soon I will scan in some of my sketches from class and put them on here. My step dad is doing well and has surgery planned for Feb 10th in St Louis. During the surgery they will remove his gallbladder and any of the growths on his liver they can safely remove, which at this point they believe all can be removed with the exception of one, which they aren't sure about. More soon!

Update

My step dad is now home from the hospital with a stint in place for the start of chemo. They think they can surgically remove most of the spots on his liver and then aggressively treat the rest with chemo. They go for a follow up with the oncologist next week and should schedule the liver surgery soon, but for now I don't have any more details. I also have started my drawing classes and maybe soon will have some sketches up you can see.....Please keep praying for my step dad, he's important to my mother and that makes it important to me. Thanks.

Bad news.....

Wednesday I just found out that my step father has Colon cancer, and they did surgery yesterday. Last night I got a call from my mother telling me that "it was bad". Now, my mother is an RN, so when she says bad, I think really bad. Apparently it has spread to his liver, but to what extent I'm not sure. All I know is they called in a specialist who is supposed to see him sometime today. What do I say? Do I just sit there and hold her hand? Am I suppose to cry? How upset should I feel? They have been together less than 8 years and while I know and care for him, I don't know what to feel. That is bad isn't it. I pray for him, and I know that God will do what is best for Jim. It's in his hands. Please pray for my mother and her husband through this hard time......

Busy busy it seems I am all the time! What a year... I went back to school, and my husband and I have kicked our new business into full swing. Between the two of us, I think we will do a fine job, but it will......keep us very busy!

I haven't done much new art lately, mostly layout stuff for our online books. If you want to know more about those, well visit our business site.. www.hugeogre.com

In the meantime, school starts back up soon and I will be in a drawing class, so hopefully there will be more for you to view then. Wish me luck!